Walking the talk for Jane

Mother’s Day walk honors the memory of a Victoria family’s wife and mother

By Unsie Zuege

You might expect Tom Quammen to dampen his sarcasm and his smart alecky take on the world. After all, his high school sweetheart and wife of nearly 27 years died just a month ago after a long struggle with breast cancer. However, that would not be characteristic of Quammen and who he is. He and his wife Jane were people who appeared to be opposites that complemented each other. As Tom would tell his stories and joke, Jane would sit back and laugh, and when necessary, rein Tom in. “My reputation for sarcasm is pretty well known, he admitted.

Their companionship and ability to enjoy the other for simply being himself or herself is what first drew them together. They met when they attended Orono High School, Quammen said. He spoke by phone last week, happy to talk about Jane and the upcoming walk organized in her honor at Lion’s Park for Sunday, Mother’s Day.

The walk is in honor of Jane Quammen’s memory. A niece suggested it, and it built from there. According to Tom, Jane used to do the Susan G. Komen event every year. This year, Tom and the Ya Ya’s (Jane’s close-knit set of friends) discussed getting a group together to walk for Jane at the Mall of America (MOA). However, the more they talked, they decided the MOA event would be too big and crazy. An alternative might be doing a separate event in honor of Jane in Victoria.

 “Who knows if 50 people will show up or 500,” Tom Quammen said. “But if 50 or 500 showed up with the rest of the crowd at the MOA, who would know? This way, we’ll be able to see everyone and spend time together.”

Long time friends

 Jane Arne and Tom Quammen met at Orono High School in the 1970s. They were good friends but didn’t date until after they’d gone to college—Jane attended Minnesota State University Mankato; Tom went to Normandale Community College and then to the University of Minnesota Morris. The couple married in 1980 and moved to Mound. Jane worked assisting barge traders in commodities at the Minneapolis Grain Exchange, and later, went to Pillsbury for a similar job. Tom owned Merit Heating and Cooling in Chanhassen. Their first son Thomas Jr. was born in 1985, followed by Matthew a few years later. In 1987, the family moved to Chaska and it was there, in 1994 when Jane was diagnosed with breast cancer.

“She battled it for a long time,” Quammen said. “Initially, what with all the chemo and radiation treatment, it dang near killed her. Those drugs were pretty bad on good parts as well as the bad. After going through her treatments, she investigated alternative medicine.” Jane came from a large family, many who were chiropractors, and had already grounded Jane in the benefits of organic foods, vitamins, and a healthful lifestyle. But her cancer made Jane a student of cancer research and development to fight the disease. Her cancer was in remission through 2001.

“Many people referred to her as a mini-consultant,” Quammen said, “because when someone was diagnosed with breast cancer, Jane was happy to share ideas of what helped her. It’s such a scary thing to hear ‘You have cancer.’ Your mind becomes a blur.”

Focus on life

Jane’s experience and knowledge led her to become a clearinghouse of sorts for anyone who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Jane shared her information and passed along resources, keeping in touch with women across the country, providing support to myriad cancer patients and their families.

The Quammens moved to Victoria in 1993 so they could be closer to Holy Family Catholic High School where their sons enrolled after completing eighth grade at St. Hubert’s in Chanhassen.

Despite Jane’s healthy lifestyle and focus on wellness, her cancer returned in 2002. She underwent more treatment including chemotherapy that wasn’t yet approved by the FDA, Quammen said. Jane’s persistence and tenacity were constantly tested as she searched for new treatments, and faced down the health insurers who challenged her treatment choices.

 “Our focus was living rather than focusing on the challenges,” Tom Quammen said. “We are ‘the cup is half full’ thinkers. (Jane) was really good about that. We believe that old saying, ‘When you leave the house in the morning, you never know if you’ll see your loved one again.’ That’s how we thought.  You can die at anytime. It could because of cancer, or it could be a car accident. Knowing that is what helped us keep perspective,” he said. “Any day could be our last day, cancer or not. So, we just saw ourselves as normal people, and tried not to dwell on the cancer.”

Jane and her "Ya Ya's": SUBMITTED PHOTOS Last fall, Jane Quammen’s Ya Ya’s and their husbands had a benefit in her honor. This Sunday, her family and friends will honor her in a two-mile walk beginning at Lion’s Park at 11 a.m. Front, from left—Katie Walker, Sandy Jacobs, Jodi Boylan, Lynn Young, Jane Arne Quammen, Jane’s sisters Therese Berquist and Linda Arne Gasch, and Jack Young. Back—Jane’s husband Tom Quammen, Brad Horner, Sandy Tufte, Denise Gelhausen, Pam Horner (sister), Sherri Miller, Greg Miller.

Remembering Jane

“The last half of 2007 and then 2008 were pretty lousy,” Quammen said.  “(Jane) was worn out with the battle. One of her biggest concerns was that people would be disappointed that she wasn’t getting better. Everyone pictured her as strong and positive person, but it was a chore to always be that way.” Jane died after being hospitalized for several days, on April 3.   

“I remember her quiet and humble way, her passion for kids, her love of life and love of God,” Quammen said. “That’s what sticks out in my mind in remembering my bride…

“What attracted me to her in the first place?” Tom thought for moment.. “Being a young male in high school, she was a hot babe!” he said. “Actually, I just knew I wanted to be part of her life when I was 16, whether I thought it meant being married or not. By the time I was 21 or 22, I had figured that out. We both just knew. She knew I was a big dummy and had to have time to figure it out.”